Is Kuwait Getting Happier?
Over the last year I have been fascinated with the study of happiness.
At times focusing on the happiness of the country of Kuwait!
Happy?Kuwait? By Christine Oastler Published May 2010 bazaar magazine
It was with great interest I read the link from 2:48 a.m. which stated that,”Gallup World Poll surveyed thousands of people and then came out with a list of the happiest countries in the world. Kuwait came in at 23rd, the second Arab country on the list, the first being UAE which came 20th. Lebanon came in at 73 while Togo came in last and Denmark first.” Is Kuwait really getting happier? Is the Gallup World Poll a more accurate collection of data then the Happy Planet Index’ (HPI) compiled by the New Economic Foundation (NEF)?
It is interesting that when you read both the comments on 2:48 a.m. and the Forbes article you quickly discover that people in many of these countries disagree or agree with the findings. Perhaps it all goes back to the Aeschylus quote “Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.” or the Anthony de Mello idea that,”There is only one cause of unhappiness:the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs you to question them.” As you question unhappiness or happiness perhaps you find some keys to unlock the secrets behind both.
Waiting!
“Kiss your life. Accept it, just as it is.
Today! Now.
So that those moments of happiness
your waiting for don’t pass you by.”
Leaving Kuwait I was given the option that if I waited one more day the airline would pay me for the time I waited. I said yes and so began my adventure in waiting. Life is full of stops and starts. As many have said waiting for things is inevitable but the key to success and happiness is how you wait! Dr. Seuss, wrote that the waiting place was a useless place but I respectfully disagree. As a writer I live in the waiting place. Waiting for the words to connect, waiting for the editor to respond or waiting for the magazine to be published. It is how you live in the present that defines you. If you can focus on the now rather then something you are waiting for you will be able to enjoy both, the now and whatever the future holds.
Waiting in the Kuwait Airport…
PS. Travel With Oastler now has our very own You Tube Channel!
Who knows what on earth we will do with it but we have the channel!
Time to Transcend Again…
The oceans that divide us out not as great as the bonds of friendship that unit us.
-Unknown-
No matter where in the world I am there always seems to be an ocean between someone! As I pack, clean and transcend the geographic space of Kuwait for the summer season a piece of my quiet heart remains with those who touched my life this year. For me it has been a quieter year as I embarked on the start of a beautiful creative journey. A journey without shadows but with moments of sunshine and a little rain that kept me awake and refreshed.
Just Ask!
-Smartest Advice I Ever Got-
By Donna Brazile
Go help someone. My mother wasn’t a very patient woman. If I complained about being lonely or bored, she’d tell me to go help someone, anyone. To this day, when I start feeling sorry for myself, I look for a good deed to do.
But I keep in mind one thing…
Ask the turtle. I’m proud to call Gloria Steinem a friend, and this advice came from her. While on a field trip in college with her geology class, she discovered a giant snapping turtle that had climbed out of the river, up a dirt path, right to the edge of a road. Worried it would soon be run over, she wrestled the enormous reptile off the embankment and back down to the water. At that moment, her professor walked up and asked what in the world she was doing. With some pride she told him. He said that the turtle had probably spent a month crawling up that long dirt path to safely lay its eggs in the mud on the side of the road and that she had destroyed all that effort with her “rescue.”
Gloria tells this story to illustrate the most important lesson she ever learned:
Always ask the turtle.
In Kuwait there are lots of people that need help and several organizations that are working hard at serving the greater global Kuwait community. In the small community that I am a part of we recently made our second donation of clothing to Operation Hope! If you are looking for ways you can help? Check out the Operation Hope! website. The Expat Teacher Community of Kuwait, also has listed on their website a great list of places to volunteer!
If you are coming or going, here for a short time or a long time, it is amazing what great work can be done when
you just ask people who care.
Modern Day Iron Men!
Iron Man, Anthony Edward Stark built a powerful suit of armor to protect himself and the world. Soon-to-be, new and veteran Dads don’t have red armor made of approximately two million grain-of-sand-sized discrete units, to keep their family safe. However, Dads across the world have this super human fortitude and strength. As we celebrate the 100th anniversary of Father’s Day it is important to realize all that Dads do to keep their families safe.
Tony Stark, the original Iron Man, was given the gift of money and resources from his father. Living in the Middle East I have seen many Arab families, working hard to help their children develop the skills needed to inherit the family businesses. I have also seen many expatriate fathers sacrifice time with their families in order to provide them with a strong financial future. Modern day Iron Men making choices and sacrifices to help build better tomorrows for those they love.
Tony Stark pushed himself to develop new technology, first out of a clear and present danger, but then because he was inspired by the power of his creation. As Dads pass on life lessons to toddlers and teenagers they are training their children to excel in today’s complex environment. When they think nobody is listening or perhaps when they know their children are Dads comment about all their children have taught them. Be it lessons of patience, commitment and communication, Dads often stand in happy awe of the power of their creations. Modern Day Iron Men appreciating how their children have or are turning into powerful super heroes!
In Kuwait I have been blessed to watch Dads fight to protect their country and earn money to support their families. These men are modern day super heroes who have to figure out how to use technology, like Skype, email and cell phones, to dispense justice, wisdom and knowledge, when they can’t just turn on jet packs in their boots and fly home. Dads with traveling children who are fighting to protect their country or earning money overseas have also become very creative at finding ways to support their children who love adventure.
Sonora Dodd, creator of the first Father’s Day held in June 1910, in Washington State, knew the power of celebrating our Iron Men. Tony Stark, might like to say that he saved the world on his own but truth be told he would have been a little lost without Pepper Potts, “Rhodey” Rhodes and Happy Hogan. Superhero Dads also have and celebrate the teams they have around them. Who ever you are celebrating Father’s Day with be sure to give the Dads in your world a huge thank-you!
“He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.”
Clarence Budington Kelland
“Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.”
Gloria Naylor
Joy Comes In The Morning
I’ll wake -up early to catch a plane. I’ll stay up late to see the big game. In my younger days I would party till dawn but this morning my desire was to rise before the sun to enjoy Easter sunrise service. To start my day with music, melody and celebration! To praise what is truly important. This sunrise service was held in Kuwait City at the Lighthouse Church.
The entire church grounds were filled with jazz and old school Christian music. Skits and beautiful voices floated over Kuwait City as Easter morning was upon us. With love, humor and a sense of purpose this service brought together two languages and two cultures. With grace music was sang in both Arabic and English. Lyrics of hymns were printed on screens in both Arabic and English. Messages of Easter celebration came from people of all cultures. It brought peace into my heart. Here in this church in Kuwait two cultures found a way to pray as one. Language that sometimes can separate people was used to unite!
As I rose to sing I couldn’t help but remember all the people around me who lift me up. The people I am blessed to have the chance to celebrate. This weekend I was at a dinner party. There was both gorgeous people and gorgeous food. It was humbling to enjoy such a night, being put upon a pedestal, allowed to be surrounded by someone else’s passion and experiences for an evening. Some people don’t know how to stand on a pedestals. they spend all their time and energy giving to others that they forget that they too should humble enjoy the chance to shine. Others take for granted when they are being lifted up and others don’t have the self awareness to realize when someone is shining light upon them. Some people can fall from pedestals but it is wonderful that with time, love and support they too can rise again! The perfect balance is when two people can put each other on pedestals, nobody falls and you can simple look into each other’s eyes. That isn’t easy, it takes time, trust and a pure commitment.
Commitment to excellence takes practice, discipline, training and self-care. It is why I write on days I don’t always feel like writing. I need the practice. This morning being committed to early morning worship also meant that I was going to commit to a mid-morning nap! Before we returned home we tried to stop for breakfast at the Early Bird. Closed on Sundays, perhaps to rest and maintain that Early Bird standard of goodness, we went to a place around the corner. I think it was called All Morning, All Evening. It wasn’t All That Good. They hadn’t committed to figuring out the basics of what makes a restaurant run. A small place filled with a horrible bleach smell we moved our table outside to enjoy sunshine and get some fresh air. The service was very smiley but not very fast. Coffee wasn’t possible until the person who knew how to make coffee got there but we did have positive all be it slightly sleepy conversation! We did wonder why does the Early Bird not take their day off in the middle of the week so that long weekends can still be celebrated with great breakfast?
Spring break has just started. It is nice that it is off to such a wonderful and interesting beginning! Tomorrow I am waking up to a morning writing session with the “Women of Words!” Did I mention I love vacation!
Pleasantly…
When I was on a ship I used to go to the same resturant in Mexico every time we docked in Cozmel. They had great salsa. I went not just for the salsa but because going to the same place gave me a sense of home when I was so far away from any home I have ever known. New is exciting, fresh and sometimes a little bit of a challenge. Being surrounded by change and different experiences the human mind and the heart starts to crave the pleasantly familiar.
I buy eight dollar dill pickles from the Sultan Center because I know the pleasantly familiar is important to have in your refrigerator. Next year I will import my own Campbell’s Vegetable Beef Soup and Stoned Wheat Thins! Even though it might add extra weight to my luggage and cost me more having the pleasantly familiar is priceless.
When I talk to good friends and family I think I have a physical reaction to talking to someone who is pleasantly familiar. Your heart beat slows, you breath easier and you guard goes down. You aren’t afraid that they will attack you with their words, the sound of their voice, their laughter and the way they love is something you love! It is more then pleasantly familiar, it is pleasantly perfect!
Last night a bunch of us went to Taste of Kuwait. An organized event where patrons had the chance to taste small portions of food from a large cross-section of dining establishments. We ordered a sample size swiss cheese fondue from Fondue Melt Away. It was something new but still reminded me of fun fondue parties of the past. Just for the record, the food from Fondue Melt Away was delicious and delightfully presented. I haven’t been to their actual restaurant (check out the pictures here) yet but their menu looks wonderful and if their small sample of food was any indication of what you will find at their place in Salhiya then I think it might be worth a trip there!
A trip to Fondue Melt Away will be new but if I go with pleasantly familiar people and order green tea, the new will blend together nicely with the familiar, which is a perfect recipe for an enjoyable evening!
Our big moments — where we can change the world — come because so many other people have helped us, and luck has come to us. But our small moments, when no one is watching and no one cares and the only thing that makes us try again is an unreasonable belief that we can get what we want for ourselves —
those are the triumphs that we do all by ourselves.
-Penelope Trunk’s Brazen Careerist-
Point of Origin
This week I have been thinking about the concept of “Point of Origin!” I have been thinking about this because I have been filling out paper work to determine my summer travel plans. The form asks me to list my point of origin. The point at which something comes into existence or from which it derives or is derived. I came from Kingston, Ontario, Canada or for travel purpose the airport coded as YGK. On paper quite a simple question but as I listened to the celebratory gunfire of Kuwait National Day I couldn’t help but think how on many levels my point of origin has changed over the last several years. Yes, I am from Kingston, Ontario, Canada but I am not the same person that arrived here in 2008! I used to worry about the gunfire, now it has become a part of the celebration. Perhaps next year I won’t even consciously hear the gunfire anymore. It will fade into the background like all the other loud noises.
When you travel, when you choose to live, really live, you learn or “upgrade” yourself. It changes who you are. Changes how you exist. You can never actually go back to the point of origin. I recently told someone that as a writer I was “fearless”! My first year in Kuwait I enjoyed finding fearlessness again!
Now as I celebrate with the people of Kuwait this wonderful weekend, to recognize freedom from oppression, I can see how my fearlessness is starting to turn into a thoughtfulness. Kuwait is a country where the people are very interconnected. It is an interesting question to consider when did we come into each others worlds or existence. I mean sure I got off the plane in Kuwait one day in August but when did I meet you? When did we have that point where we came into each others personal existence? When was our point of origin?
“There should be less talk. A preaching point is not a meeting point!”
What do you do then? Take a broom and clean someone’s house. That says enough!”
-Mother Teresa-
“The growth of any craft depends on shared practice and honest dialogue among the people who do it.
We grow by private trial and error, to be sure — but our willingness to try, and fail, as individuals is severely limited
when we are not supported by a community that encourages such risks.”
– The Courage to Teach; Palmer, 1998, p. 144
From A Princess on New Year’s Eve
I have decided that from quiet contemplation to dancing like a rock star how you spend your New Year’s Eve really doesn’t matter. That like love and Dick Clark nobody needs to keep records of New Year’s Eve awesomeness. In my mind what really truly matters about New Year’s is taking a moment to reflect on what you learned, who and how you loved and thinking about your next steps. Excellences comes from what you focus on day in and day out.
Over the holidays you might drink a little more, eat a little more and dance a little more but as you easy back into the New Year hopefully your simple daily habits that build beauty into your life return. Today we receive a beautiful Kuwait surprise and found out that we all get an extra day off. So we start back to school on Sunday, instead of Monday. I love these kind of Kuwait surprises.
I feel as if something should be written about the classic New Year’s line, from the song Auld Lang Syne,
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?
People are hard to forget. Wrongs are difficult to let go of but in the end unkind words and unkind thoughts hurt the person that speaks them way more then those spoken about. Living in a Muslim culture I am truly blessed that the stories and ideas of the Muslim faith find their way into my heart. It is amazing to me how living in a Muslim culture makes you a better Christian. One of the stories or hadith’s from the prophet Muhammad is that you should speak a good word or remain silent. I was told that one of the hadith’s is that before you speak you should ask yourself 3 very important questions:
1. Is what you are going to say the truth?
2. Is what you are going to say kind?
3. Will it hurt someone?
Your thoughts, your choices about these questions should then direct your actions. It takes a strong person to hold their tongue when tempted; thankfully no matter what your faith we have help.
Happy New Year. Peace is with us!
What Does Christmas in Kuwait Feel Like?
Great questions have been finding there way into my life these days. I love great questions with thoughtful answers. The last two days have been filled with simple, Christmas joy. I have been on this big kick to bring traditions from my past homes to my home in Kuwait. So gracefully and awkwardly that is what I have been doing to increase the level of holiday fun. From having Chinese food on Christmas Eve, to cooking lemon pancakes, to the great Christmas de-clutter I have been one busy elf! Although I am happy to say my days dressing as an elf, from ships, was not a tradition that got transfered 
Christmas in Kuwait, feels warm with a nice breeze. The temperature has ranged from 15 to 28 degrees Celsius, which when your body adjusts to 40 to 50 degree heat in the summer, anything under 40 seems cool. Although I must admit it has been a mild winter. There is no snow but when the Christmas carolers came around to sing at our apartments on Christmas Eve it slightly amused me to say, ” Don’t worry about taking your shoes off. It is not like there is snow on them.”
Christmas Day was filled with neighbors getting together for potlucks and laughter. Gifts needed only be as simple as smiles and great coffee. As odd as it sounds on Boxing Day we went to the camel races. Like going to an OHL hockey game on a Friday night the locals just sat in their plush leather chairs and watched the races. We, the tourist, to this unique experience took a large number of photos, and sat in awe as eight to ten camels, with tiny electronic jockeys whipped the camels around the track in just under ten minutes. It was a good day at the camel races! Check on the link to get an idea of what we saw. Click here for Camel Video!
I hope where ever you find yourself this holiday season your Christmas was like a good day at the camel races or somehow had a warm gentle breeze, if even just from the glow of a fire or from the love of friends and family.
Mountains
First of all Happy Winter Solstice! Hard to believe that yesterday was actually the shortest day of the year! It was filled with so much! Last year at this time I was climbing up and sleeping in the mountains outside of Dahab, Egypt. This year I have friends who are on a great adventure to climb Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, Africa.
Sometimes mountains are in far off exotic places and other times the “mountain” we need to climb is within each of us. We all have are own personal mountains, that we work to find, move, climb or conquer. I am writing this morning because I took a big step on climbing my personal Kuwaiti mountain. I am writing because as I worked to climb my perceived mountain, there have been many people providing encouragement, guidance and support, some people who have experience with this particular mountain. Climbers/drivers who knew about paths to avoid, boulders to watch out for and ravines not to even bother trying to cross. Some kind folk, who had never faced this particular mountain, but knew about facing and over-coming challenges helped me along the way. Reminded me to be careful, cautious and focused while climbing, I mean driving. One wrong move on the Kuwait mountain known as the 30 can lead to a bundle of trouble.
Yesterday I took a huge step and conquered my Kuwait driving mountain. I drove by myself all the way from my apartment to Marina Mall. The journey in climbing this mountain started long before I ever set foot in the car. Pep talks from lots of people.
With help from several people at school I got my driver’s permit. With the permit in my wallet I was and still am officially a legal driver in the country of Kuwait. However, the permits might have just sat there without great directions and the right climbing gear. People who love you know when to push you up the mountain or tell you when to find another mountain to climb.
I set-off early in the morning, and despite the great directions I made a few wrong turns and got gloriously lost. I say gloriously lost because I was lost. Heck, I ended up in Kuwait City, but the beautiful thing about this getting lost is that I kind of always knew where I was. That eventually the lost would turn into found. With a little help I navigated my way to the top of the driving mountain or the Marina Mall parking garage. Happy safe and parked I headed to “Base Camp Starbucks” where I enjoyed coffee and funny conversation.
The drive home was smooth and on this second shortest day of the year I am happy to share this good driving news with you. It is comforting for me to realize that I haven’t forgetten how to climb simple because the mountain changes. Although I have now learned that GPS is available for the Middle East! This is very exciting and I look forward to one day this helping me to find my way around the mountain. Yeah technology! My skills, my character, my work ethic travels with me no matter what mountains I have to face. Thanks all for the continued help and direction.
“Doubt makes the mountain which faith can move.”
-Proverb-
“Today is you day! Your mountain is waiting. So…. on your way.”
-Dr. Seuss-
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock
What a bright time, it is the right time to dance the night away, write the night away or laugh the night away! Jingle bell time is a swell time to go driving, not in a one horse open sleigh, but driving with my evil twin from Texas! So much has happened this week I wouldn’t even know where to begin. It is hard to be on the other side of the world when people you care about are sick. On those days you lean a little more on your family away from family. You give a little less, take a little more and graciously accept the offers of prayer, space and simple friendship. The part I liked the best about this week is that people who were sick are getting better, really at the end of the day, health and happiness are what is most important, no matter what country you are in.
So our Christmas vacation started today. As a traveling soul you might think I’d be taking this break to find to a beach chair or a bar in London but this winter break I am just staying at home. My home in Kuwait. In an international community other people’s reactions to you staying at home is interesting. Although as with most times other’s peoples reactions say more about them then they say about you.
It is the standard question to ask your colleagues at this time of year. Where are you heading for the holidays? When are you coming back? What will you be doing well you are gone? There is a great joy in sharing plans for adventures. I love sharing and hearing about adventures, big or small. For the next two weeks I have no plans but yet lots of plans for simple adventures. Cleaning out my closet, experimenting with cooking, writing, enjoying walks by the water, trips to the spa with girlfriends and plenty of time to rest, relax and explore Kuwait.
I think people who are new to the international community get surprised that you would stay in Kuwait because they don’t yet see Kuwait as home. When you make that transition in thinking you realize that you don’t always have a need to leave your home for the holidays. In fact when you tell someone who has been here a long time that you are staying they sometimes kindly wish they were staying too. Airports, hotels, taxis, luggage, layovers they all take a lot of work. If you are up for the challenge of travel then it is a thrill but sometimes, somedays you just want to stay home. Curl up on your couch and read. As odd as it might sound I just want to stay home and enjoy Kuwait this break.
So tonight as I moved around from party to party. Sharing jingle bell joy I could not help but smile at all the adventure that is about to unfold, at home and abroad.
Morning!
I should be writing at my Starbucks this morning but it is grey and cold out, well Kuwait cold out. If you go out today in Kuwait you are going to need both a sweater and some type of jacket and a scarf. I should be writing something else this morning but I have got distracted by this possible blog post and the mountain of dishes in my sink. Truth is told this morning: I like the fact that I can control the Christmas music I play. The same track over and over again drives me to want to drink and since that is not possible at Starbucks I need to at least control the Itunes for the morning!
I do like my Starbucks. I am even working on learning the names of the staff. The Arabic names are hard for me but then again so were the Filipino names on a cruise ship. I practice and eventually I will get better or know them well enough to give them a nickname. I like to sit by the window and look over at water that runs under the building. It is quite amazing that they have built a building that includes a stream that runs right underneath it! Whatever you do try to have a fun day!
Disruptive Grace
This week I came face to face with “disruptive grace”. The kind of grace that knocks you flat, causes your head to spin and demands that you stop and think! Disruptive grace forces you to define what you currently want and the things you used to want. You realize the need to open new doors and close old doors. The things that are hidden at the bottom of shoebox end up on the kitchen floor and the truth appears. There is a natural human resistance to change, even small change. However, it is with small daily acts of change that eventually lead to a large scale difference in your life. Through mechanical weathering water will wear down stone. True change works this well as well. Not in one big grand act but in a series of small and repeated actions over time.
I love the good days. Where the sunshines, the birds sing and everything is “peachy” but it is often on the days that it rains and things seem to crackle and pop around you that you find yourself learning the most. Grace isn’t easy to come by and disruptive grace isn’t easy to walk away from. You wish for joy, hope for love but the truth be told sometimes you just need grace.
Like grace that changes you my favorite place in Kuwait seems to continue to change to meet my needs. I know it sounds so shallow to write that the Hilton Kuwait is a place that helps me to find peace but perhaps it isn’t as much about the Hilton as it is about reconnecting with little pieces of nature. The sand, the surf and lying next to the ocean as the waves roll in all helps me to be still so I can hear again.
The images from the Middle East, that flash around the world and on CNN, are in sharp contrast to how I spent last Tuesday. No guns, no war, no violence. Just palm trees, a little moon light and perfection. Like grace that exsists even with disruption beauty flourishes all over the Middle East. You just have to remember to look for it and go after what you truly want.
“We can do no great thing… only small things with great love.”
-Mother Teresa-
360 Degrees of Sparkle!
We went to the 360 Mall last night. All the way around was sparkle, marble and over the top shine!
One of two intricate glass sculptures created by Dale Chihuly
The 360 Mall is full of surprises as with one left turn we found ourselves in an art installation.
“Tamdeen Shopping Centres, in collaboration with the Arab World Institute in Paris has organized the exhibition “Oum Kalsoum- The fourth Pyramid” in the State of Kuwait at 360 MALL.
An interesting vertical garden, with giant gold fish ponds! More detailed information about 360 can be found at 248am.com
Like the the internet community, on-line phone books and directions that have all slowly started to grow in my time here it will be interesting to see how this mall grows and develops. The mall literature talks about how the seven unique zones in the mall will “create seven unique experiences that trigger shopping senses.” Perhaps in years to come it will develop into this. Right now it was just a nice play to watch and movie and window shop. Time does interesting things to places, even malls. Perhaps the more time I spend there they more I would notice the seven zones. Then again perhaps the more time this mall is develop the more exciting these zones will be.
The question was raised if one day these pyramids of homage to the “gods” of commercialism and consumerism will end up hidden beneath the desert sand like the pyramids in Egypt? Would future archeologist end up digging down and sifting through sand to find a pile of Caribou coffee cups and the last pair of Gap Jeans from the Gap store that is schedule to open soon. Only time will tell what is in store for the 360 mall of Kuwait. However if you are looking for a nice way to spend a Friday evening in Kuwait check it out.
One Night in Kuwait City!
Life in the Desert
I danced in the desert,
I swam by the shores,
I spent warm nights under starlit blankets of silver,
I made friends from far-away places
I ate and drank and savored it all
I loved and was loved
What more could anyone ask for?
From streams of teapots seeming to fall like rain from the heavens, to mountains of spices, to perfect piles of hats and blankets, the full moon lit up the night sky in Kuwait city and we explored Souk Mubarakea.
Located in Kuwait City, in the Qibla area, Route 40 ends at the Souk. From fresh meat, to fish, to dairy and fruit anything you need could be found in this traditional shopping market. The fabric souk is found across the main road, filled with things that glitter and sparkle. No major purchases made, just fun conversation and fantastic photo opportunities at each corner. Sometimes it is just nice to admire the shiny things and a enjoy a wonderful vegetarian restaurant located on the edge of the Old Souk, Greenland.
So many of the photos I took tonight will inspire deeper, more interesting stories. Lately travel and life has inspired quick blogs. Now it is time to sitting down with a good cup of coffee, a computer and travel photos and take the time to work through whole stories and ideas.
Mafi Mushkila!
In Arabic there is a phrase, “Mafi Mushkila!” Literally translated it means without problem. Used in everyday arabic it is the expression that means no problem. It is a fun phrase to say, with the bold m sound and the shhh sounds it is a wonderful word that pops from your lips. However, it is an even better expression to feel. Helping others, serving others and creating community is a beautiful way to live. To be at a point in your life, your job and your community where you feel stable, safe and secure enough to support friends, family and community members is wonderful. To be able to give that assistance without it being a problem to you makes the giving that much sweeter and easier. God loves a cheerful giver and often people don’t need big things just little things done with great joy. It is nice to give what you have, be that your time, your smile or just a few ideas.
In Arabic no is not a concrete or abstract noun. When you speak the language you don’t literally say no to anything. Problems are stated and then solved, with action or inaction. In the west it is very much black and white. No means it is over. In the Middle East no doesn’t really seem to exist. It is all up for negation. It is interesting that some people here start every email or response to a question with yes. Putting people in an affirmative mindset they begin the process of solving a problem.
Not all situations can be without problems. Sometimes there are situations that take longer to solve, sometimes the solutions aren’t what you had hoped for and sometimes their are problems that just aren’t going to go away, you just have to find a way to deal with them. Saying, meaning and feeling the words ” mafi mushkila.” is more special after you have had to spend a day saying, andee mushkila (I have a problem)!
Shut Up and Shop!
I have a love of international travel that oddly enough is combined with a passion for home decorating. The magnificent, yet oversized Kuwait door, is perfect art for my current living room, yet someday will lead to a ridiculous shipping bill. The 3.4 pounds of fridge magnets don’t need to travel with me to each new country I live in, but somehow it isn’t home until they are here. Great pillows aren’t easy to pack and the quilt from Turkey shouldn’t have to be hung on the wall of each place I live however what makes you happy can’t always be explained. Trying to fight or figure out why you like something or why it inspires you kills the enjoyment. You are a gamer because you want to, a baller because you have to, a writer because you need to and a traveller because that is just who you are.
I never thought that carmel and cream cheese mixed together would make a wonderful dip for apples but it does and tastes great. Shopping in 36 degree heat, during Ramadan, where you can’t eat or drink in public, was also something I didn’t think would every be that pleasurable but somehow today that too turned out to be a fun experience.
Walking around the computer souk today we found a new printer, fans to cool our Macbooks and sparkly mouse pads. A side trip to the Kuwaiti Sears, lead to us getting a 20 KD gift certificate (currently if you spend 20 Kd at Sears you get a voucher for 20KD for your next purchase) Sears in Kuwait, is not linked to the Sears in Canada or America. The last time I went to Sears in Kuwait it was a disorganized and chaotic. However today the Sears in Salmyia was clean, organized and filled with great dresses for a Kuwait ball season. If there hadn’t been a large pile of stuffed camels with Christmas hats you very well could have been at a Sears in North America.
Round one of shopping was productive but on a day that was all about the “shut up and shop” experience so one round was not enough. After a quick cruise through the nice but over-priced Marina mall we headed outside and started shopping in the back streets of Kuwait. The statue of the Eiffel tower led us to a shoe souk and a right turn instead of a left had us trying on skirts for 75% of the cost of H&M. Just like in Daffy’s or Marshall’s in New York, a good deal or a perfect purchase will make loud crowds and outrageous heat almost disappear.
So as I install my new printer, charge the batteries for my new camera and decide where to put the new candle holders I can’t help but think how lucky I am to have great girlfriends to shop with, no matter what country I am in. Thanks ladies!
”The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.”
-Lost in Translation-
Sometimes
Sometimes you don’t need to be told to “get over yourself!” a simple trip to the grocery store reminds you of how blessed you really are. Tonight I roamed kind of aimlessly around the Sultan Center. Looking for things I didn’t really need but just kind of wanted. A kettle for my classroom, a bamboo rack to hold up my earrings and a few more candles. I had picked up some red peppers and was waiting in line to get them weighed. The man at the scale in front of me had just one pear. When the scale printed out that the pear cost 400 fils, he took the sticker from the scale, folded it in half and put the pear back on the shelf.
This man didn’t have a cart full of food, he barely had shoes on his feet. 400 fils, which is about $1.50 Canadian, was too much for a piece of fruit for dinner. I stopped dead in my tracks and just like that got over myself, my worries and my superficial problems. I walked up to him, handed him a couple KD and told him he had dropped it. He asked me if I was sure and I said, “Yes.”
Later on I saw him check out one pear, one bag of pita bread and some yogurt. As I left the store he came up to me and said,” God bless you.” I just smiled. He already had. He reminded me to get over myself!
Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life.
Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.
-Marianne Williamson-
Hard To Imagine…
When I came through Canadian customs this week I was a little confused, which by the way is not a place you want to be confused in! I am and always will be a Canadian citizen but I live in Kuwait. I am a resident of Kuwait. So for the first time in my life when asked for my residence on a Canadian customs form I had to write another address. It made me think.
This morning I read and saw some powerful photos of Kuwait right after the war, posted on www.248am.com
these photos were captured by B. Dietrich, AIA. They tell a store of a country that thankfully I never knew. I am a resident of growing, diverse and safe country. A country that not so long ago was devastated but quickly rebuilt. That sometimes challenges me with the driving, the lack of clean air and public transit but never fails to make me thankful for the experience of being and learning from a new culture.
Avoiding the count down!
This week we signed our itineraries for our plane tickets home!!! For me there is only about a month left in year one of the grand Kuwaiti adventure. There is a natural pull as you move from one place to the next, get ready for vacation or start to prepare for a big move to count down the days left. Sometimes the great countdown helps motivate you to do all the things you need to accomplish before you leave. Creating a sense of urgency that motivates you to do the things you really don’t want to do, like pack, write report cards or sort out your cluttered office. However I was once asked the brilliant question, ” Why would you want to count down any piece of your life?”
A valid question that sparks one to think about the importance of living in the now! Enjoying each moment for what it is and finding the beauty in it. Loving the fantastic conversation in the car as opposed to knowing this is the last time I will be stuck in Kuwait traffic. Enjoying the music and wine as opposed to worrying over construction and apartments. The things you can’t control anyways.
I do also like the idea of reflecting on each day. Celebrating what you have learned, remembering the magical moments and growing from the pain. There is a fine line between get caught up in complaining about what you don’t have (Check out A Complaint Free World.org) and not being able to keep it real. So as I plan out some of the wonder that my 32nd last day in Kuwait will hold I am thrilled that it will involve celebration, art, books, friends, great mash potatoes and wonderful conversation. Here is to day 32!
A look at the food culture in Kuwait!
“A food culture is not something that gets sold to people.
It arises out of a place, a soil, a climate, a history, a temperament, a collective sense of belonging.”
-Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Vegetable Miracle-
I would never have read Barbara Kingsolver’s book Animal, Vegetable Miracle if it was not one of this months book club selections. With a diverse group of people picking the book selection of books we have read this year I knew I would be challenged as a reader. This month with each page I read I learned a new trick, a new tip and found a new love for cooking.
As I walked into the book club meeting I was looking forward to trading stories about the challenges of finding fresh produce in Kuwait. I hoped perhaps I’d learn the secret to where to find a tomato that would be suitable for eating instead of being tossed in the trash. What I wasn’t prepared for, yet totally loved, was how the book had inspired the book club to become so much more than the sharing of words.
The great book club hostess had turned her kitchen into a cooking show. As we talked about the book she made cheese. Yep, right from scratch she took whole milk and within minutes had magically turned it into marvelous mozzarella.
As the cheese curdled we vented about produce that had more airmiles than many of us. Someone brought locally grown tomatoes and the power of the book club changed my shopping habits. (Hint: Yasmine Farms in Kuwait has a section in the Sultan Center and there produce is fresh and lovely ) As we talked about how are eating has changed in the country of Kuwait it dawned on me that I am know surrounded by a wide variety of very different and distinct food cultures.
“I would be exhausted after that long plane trip. Never mind if I was a tomato.”
One section of the community I live in has a food culture is loosely based around eating and drinking just like they are at home. This means the large circular import sticker is a sign indicating that this item is a part of your food world. How long it took to get to your dinner table it is not important. It is about eating the food that comes from home. I will be the first to admit that there is something very comforting about eating the pickles that are just like the ones you ate when you were six. The eight Canadian dollar price tag is worth the sense of joy it brings me to feel like even though my whole world has changed somethings haven’t.
Part of this food culture has also invested significant time into the technology and technic of making sure the beverages on your table are just like home. I once had this apple drink that was spectacular. It is amazing how your food culture, like your love of hockey, travels with you.
In addition Kuwait has developed a very unique food culture involving delivery services. Pretty much anything you want can be ordered by telephone or internet . Why there is even internet sites like 6alabat.com , where you can use your bank card to order from a large variety of restaurants. Several mouse clicks later and within a Kuwait minute the delivery person is knocking at your door. Every Saturday morning a man selling boxes of water or cases of coke arrives at my door to see if I need any beverages.
A new trend that has appeared in Kuwait is the box dieters. This food culture is based on healthier choices and exact portion size. Box dieters pay to have a green box filled with their meals delivered to their door each day. They work with a dietician and plan their weekly menus. It is also interesting to see how this box food culture is spreading. With people sharing weight loss success stories and the benefits of having someone else cook your meals the box culture has grown quite quickly in our small community. Why today I even saw the old boxes being painted by students as part of their art project.
“But approaching mealtimes as a creative opportunity, rather than a chore, is a option.”
-Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Vegetable Miracle-
For me one of the most entertaining parts of the food culture here has been the fine folks from southern America. They brought along their love of grilling, BBQ, smoking and cooking meat. Quite honestly what can be done with a BBQ, the right sauce and some chicken is nothing short of amazing. In addition the process of cooking, socializing and listening to lively stories makes this culture very entertaining.
“I like cooking as a social event. Friends always seem happy to share the work of putting together a do-it-yourself pizza, tacos or vegetarian wraps. Potluck dinner parties are salvation.”
-Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Vegetable Miracle-
When we first arrived in Kuwait the culture of the potluck was based on necessity. Everybody was still filling up their cabinets and refrigerators. People we sorting out their appliances and piecing their kitchens together. When morning coffee came around someone had sugar, someone else had a coffee and a coffee maker and before you knew it two people showed up with enough mugs for everyone.The quality of our potlucks in this culture has improved drastically since the beginning days but the premise behind them stays the same. The coming together of people in a collective sense of belonging.
Your Favorite Thing to do in Kuwait?
Now that I have lived in Kuwait for almost 7 months it is more challenging to find new and exciting things to do in this country. After you have done the standard Kuwait tourist things like going up to the top of the Kuwait towers, ventured to Failaka and Green island, see the Scientific Center and watched the 3-D movies you start to realize you are going to have to put some effort into finding the fun.
Never one to back down from the challenge of finding fun I have started asking people who have been here for several years what is their favorite thing to do in Kuwait. The answers seem to be as varied as the people I have asked.
Tonight my evil twin from Texas and I went for a walk along the Corniche, a lovely ocean front boulevard. Why as the gentle breeze blew off the gulf, the sounding of crashing waves filled the air and I admired the palm trees for a moment I really did feel like I could have been in South Beach, Miami. The men in leopard print speedos had only been replaced with the thankfully more conservative men in dishdashas.
Tonight on the Kuwait Corniche the sky scrapers shone with bright lights, the teenagers ran in and out of the Kuwait Hard Rock Cafe and the ice cream vendors sat on the sea wall waiting to sell to the people walking by. Miles and miles of flat pavement. A perfect walking, biking or roller blading path. Beside the playground equipment men took time out to pray. The families sat on the ground, some barbecuing and some simply enjoying each others company.
It was a lovely night on the Kuwait waterfront! I think I may have found a new favorite thing to do in the country of Kuwait.
From The Kingston Whig Standard
Sometimes the world is big and sometimes it feels very small.
The below post was published in the Kingston Whig Standard on Friday March 13th 2009.
Living in the Middle East, people often ask if I feel safe living here. It is an understandable question. I wish I could just say “Yes” and be done with the discussion and the unfair stereotypes that some people have about the Arab world and the Middle East.
My hometown is Kingston, Ontario, a town that has nine prisons in the city and surrounding area. In Kingston, I grew up knowing that when someone escapes from a local prison you will hear the helicopters, perhaps see the search dogs and eventually there will be a radio announcement about the missing convict.
It brought me an odd sense of comfort to know that the escaped convict is looking to get out of town as soon as possible. If nine correctional facilities weren’t enough the city of Kingston has plenty of half way houses to help rehabilitate the men and previously the women who were recently guests of the local institutions. I used to volunteer in a homeless shelter that often helped ex-convicts. I remember a guest saying to me, ” I just got out of prison. My previous life of crime, before I got caught, paid very well. Who wants to work at 7-11 for minimum wage? It really isn’t that much of a choice to make. Crime pays. However I have enjoyed my time in Kingston. I think I will stay in the city.”
Kingston also has an active bar scene with fights and drunken Queen’s street parties that has in the past led to cars being flipped and incidents of violence. However people rarely ask the citizen of Kingston if they feel safe living there.
When I lived in Renfrew, Ontario it was a 45-minute commute to the tiny school in Denbigh, Ontario where I worked. In the winter the roads were icy and snow covered. Sometimes, even with my fantastic snow tires, I’d feel my car slip backwards. If you are looking for things to be afraid of, ice covered roads in Canada is certainly something to fear.
Driving in parts of Ontario you are prepared for the reality that one day you might hit a deer. Regardless, if you are driving in the morning fog or heading home late at night, when a deer suddenly appears in front of your car it can do a lot of damage–to you, the car and the deer!
In deer hunting season I used to wear an orange sweatshirt into work in the morning. Listening to the locals fire off their riffles in search of their big trophy buck put a special kind of fear in my heart.
For a time I also I lived and worked on a cruise ship, traveling in international waters brought about its own special challenges. Out running hurricanes, leaving a port when a government was being overthrown, waking up to Miami drug dogs searching your room and listening to safety officers talk about the hundreds of ways you could die at sea and what we needed to do to be prepared all made you appreciate your afternoon off at the beach.
My point is this. There are challenges no matter where you live. Kuwait is no different. It is a country filled with interesting people, new experiences, a lot of adventure and like every country or city around the globe it has some issues. No deer to watch out for, no threat of hurricanes and no drunken, fighting Queen’s students though.
For me the challenges living in Kuwait is that the driving here can be fast, furious and gives new meaning to the term road rage. People often drive with their lights off at night. Then when they get ridiculously close to your bumper they flash their high beams at you. Honk their horns as you move over they speed past your car coming dangerous close to side swiping you.
As well sometimes men in this country can be a little bit forward. Let me please stress–not all men and not all the time. However, like driving on snow covered roads you learn to deal with unwanted attention as a part of the country. When I walk in the city I get this look on my face that I refer to as the “Washed Out Western Women look.” It is the empty glazed over eyes. My facial expression says, “I am so not looking at you or remotely interested in you.” Without words I am trying to communicate the message that will clearly tell you,”don’t even think about telling me that you like my eyes or blond hair because I didn’t just get off the plane yesterday. I like to think of it like defensive driving, defensive walking keeps you safe before trouble occurs.
I enjoy Kuwait, the culture, the people and the new adventures. I feel just as safe here as I have felt anywhere else in the world.
Kuwait City, KUWAIT
Christine Oastler is a freelance travel writer, teacher and artist, currently living in Mahboula, Kuwait. Born and raised in Kingston, Ontario, Canada, Christine obtained her Bachelor of Arts at Trent University and her Bachelor of Education from Queen’s University. Currently traveling around the Middle East she finds herself riding the odd camel and embracing a new culture!